


Love is the process of attachment that develops between romantic partners

by Hieiandshino



Series: What is love? [6]
Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Developing Relationship, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2017-12-16 15:32:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/863634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieiandshino/pseuds/Hieiandshino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“They thought it would do you good to put yourself together in a place where you are not being threatened, nor have chances to be attacked by enemies who decide to use your fragile state—”</i>
  <br/><i>“I'm not fragile.” Clint argues, but Pietro ignores him anyway. “Against you.” He finishes and drinks his tea, amused.</i>
  <br/><i>“And you agreed?” That's what makes no sense.</i>
  <br/><i>Pietro frowns at him. “I said this would be impossible for I would kill you eventually. I then suggested one of Natasha's safe houses or even Bobbi's.” He then stops, looks down at his teacup and then puts it on the side table by the couch. “Or even Jessica Drew's house.”</i>
</p>
<p>(30 Day OTP Challenge, Day Six: Wearing each other's clothes. Complete)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DuendeJunior](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuendeJunior/gifts).



> Marvel (all media types) does not belong to me.
> 
> Spoilers from the _Avengers v5 #1, #2_ and _#3_. Mentions of _FF, Superior Spider-Man, Deadpool_ and _Avengers Assemble #09, #10_ and _#11_.
> 
> Link for the quote on title: [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bonding).

Clint comes back from Mars with a weak smile and a haunted look that makes people frown at him when he walks past them. No one in his building tries to talk to him when he arrives — they don't even look into his eyes, to be sincere — and he thinks it's better like this; civilians shouldn't worry about the mental state of their heroes when they come back after being held prisoner of aliens. It makes Clint understand Bobbi better and he suddenly decides he talk with anyone for a long time; he isn't as strong as his ex-wife.

Sadly, the memo doesn’t reach Kate Bishop.

She comes to him a few days later, Aimee right next to her, looking apprehensive. Kate says nothing, only nods to the girl with pink her and closes the door, dropping the bag she has on her shoulder carefully on the ground. “I'm staying.” It's all Kate says and then she goes fix some water to herself. Clint sometimes forgets that his partner, even if awesome, is still a minor and can't have a beer. Not that Clint thinks she actually listens. Kate isn't very good with rules and she spent a good time around Tommy Shepherd, so he guesses she isn't going to drink alcohol to settle a good example to Clint.

Drinking is not the answer, it's what she says with her actions, and Clint may be more than just platonic in love with her.

She sits next to him in the couch, trades his beer for another glass of water she brought to him and asks when it was the last time Clint ate properly. Clint jokes about pizzas and Chinese but all Kate does is arching an eyebrow. “You better start eating proper food, homemade food, or I'll bring my chef to do it for you.”

They both know she isn't kidding. Even so, Clint feels nothing when he eats anything and that makes him even less interested in following Kate's advice. Soon, though Hawkette there tries, Clint falls in his almost-coma state again.

Tigra and Hank come five days later. Clint was taking another bath when they entered and only notices he has visitors when he hears them talking about his mental state, how he is doing, if he is sleeping and/or eating, if he is having nightmares and when he will come back to business. Clint laughs a little, a sad, bitter laugh, because he doesn't have an answer for the last one.

"Maybe he should change environment." Tigra says. "Sometimes it's all about moving for a while to somewhere people don't know who he is instead of being around civilians and the perks of the job."

Kate says something about one of her beach houses, full of trouble and with lots of privacy, and that's when Clint decides to get out of the bathroom, because this intervention is getting dramatic, since he is fine, really. Kate and Hank smile at him in their own manners, but Tigra only arches an eyebrow, knowing he was eavesdropping and not looking surprised at that. The perks of being a superhero werecat who knows the people she works with too well.

.

Three days later, the doorbell rings again and, seriously, Clint is getting pissed with those visits. Kate opens it almost immediately and greets the woman by the door with a shy smile, something unlike her, but Clint doesn’t have the time to point it out since he is too busy dropping his mug of coffee when he sees Wanda entering his house with a bag of clothes. She greets him with the most beautiful smile she can put on her face and then asks where she'll be sleeping.

“In Clint's bedroom.” Kate answers for him, shows her the bedroom and then stops right in front of Clint. She says nothing for a good while, only looks at him, so Clint believes it's his time to say something. “You want me to start sleeping with the mother of your friends?” No need to talk about that time with the doombot-Wanda but he receives a slap on the shoulder anyway. _Pig_ , it's what Kate thinks of him now.

Well, she's not wrong on that. “I want you to start _packing_.”

“What?” Clint has no idea what is happening. What _is_ happening? “What’s happening?”

Kate opens her mouth to answer but stops when Wanda's light footsteps announce she is back in the room. It's the Scarlet Witch who answers Clint. “We are exchanging roommates.” She gives Clint his bag of clothes. “I'm going to be Kate's temporary roommate and you are going to live with my brother.”

Clint sputters something that makes no sense and Kate smirks at him, finding this all too funny. There is no malice in her eyes, neither in Wanda's, and Clint really wants to know how this happened. “But why?”

“Because we know you two love to hate each other, so it's the best way to you come back to your game.” Kate explains and, yeah, she has no idea about the fact Clint doesn't hate Pietro. Wanda, on the other hand... She simply hugs him and whispers to Clint how everything will be fine; how she knows Pietro will make him feel better; how this will be good for both of them. Then, she kisses him in the cheek and sends him on his way.

.

Pietro's apartment is small and comfortable, very neat and perfect for single man who tends to brood and whose favorite hobby is to be alone. But it's when one gives a second glance to everything that you notice flowers way too colorful to someone with Pietro's personality, or some decorative stuff that often belongs to women. Clint knows that because some of his stuffs at his apartment were Bobbi's, like a pair of mugs of a hawk and a mockingbird that never were used and are only there to decorate his kitchen and to bring him good memories.

In Pietro's case, there is some Romani decorative stuff, very colorful and very symbolic to their people, like horses, birds and flowers. Clint knows Pietro shares the same love for his people's culture as Wanda, but he doubts the mutant was able to buy such beautiful decorations before his sister arrived. He tends to be so fast that he never really pays attention to details.

Then, it dawns Clint this is the first time he enters Pietro's apartment. Not that it's that surprisingly since he never knew where Pietro lived, like most of the Avengers. It's on a good neighborhood where people seem to be very private and more worried about their careers than the white-haired, former mutant terrorist and sometimes super-hero, son of Magneto that lives next door. It's far from all the New York City's noise and trouble, but, for a speedster who treasures silence and privacy, it's perfect.

“Oh, you have arrived.” Pietro says and Clint glances up to the hallway where the bedrooms are. It's obvious that Pietro was showering by the water drops that fall from his hair — hair that looks way too alike his father's when it's wet and down. “Was it too hard to find out?”

“No.” Clint says and looks around again. He isn't Romani, neither he is Jew or a mutant, so he doesn't feel very comfortable at Pietro's house. “So, how much did you know about this exchange?”

Pietro snorts and goes to the kitchen, walking in a human pace that makes Clint feel like an intruder. He is as close to Pietro as Wanda is, and his story is tangled with the twin's, but he isn't Wanda, so he doesn't know if he should be seeing Pietro like this.

Still, something inside him is all happy and giddy for being able to bear witness to Pietro being all normal and away from their encounters, missions and classes.

When Pietro comes back, with tea in one hand and coffee in the other, he offers Clint a seat on his very comfortable and apparently expensive couch, and finally answers. “I was asked by Tigra and Henry — actually, asked by Henry and pressed by Tigra — to let you stay with me. Since my house's address is known by only a few mutants and even less Avengers, they thought it would do you good for you to...” He stops, suddenly not sure how to say what he wants. The fact Pietro doesn't seem to want to ruin his mood or make Clint sad (what the $%#$?) makes Clint feel even more attracted by the mutant because, seriously, when Pietro is being considerate with someone who isn't Wanda, it means this person is _special_.

Clint must kill the butterflies on his stomach. One day. “Put myself together?” He offers, flinching a little at the implication. Because he is fine, and he wants people to believe he is fine and leave him _alone_.

“Yes.” Pietro accepts the help with a grimace. “They thought it would do you good to put yourself together in a place where you are not being threatened, nor have chances to be attacked by enemies who decide to use your fragile state—”

“I'm not fragile.” Clint argues, but Pietro ignores him anyway. “Against you.” He finishes and drinks his tea, amused. As if it was funny to see Clint in a not-fragile-state like the one he is.

“And you agreed?” That's what makes no sense.

Pietro frowns at him. “I said this would be impossible for I would kill you eventually. I then suggested one of Natasha's safe houses or even Bobbi's.” He then stops, looks down at his teacup and then puts it on the side table by the couch. “Or even Jessica Drew's house.”

Clint flinches at Jessica's mention. Sure, Pietro knows about Natasha and Bobbi's relationships with Clint because he was mostly there but Jessica Drew was something else entirely. Their relationship was as fresh as their break-up. The flinch apparently was a good reaction because Pietro arches an eyebrow at it and then spoke, in a much lighter tone: “The next day, Hawkeye called me asking how much I wanted to keep you here and away from trouble. I told her I needed not her money and she threatened me to call my nephews.” He snorts for a moment, as if remembering the conversation, before his expression darkens. “Instead of them, however, she called Captain America, who then called my sister.”

“And you can't say no to her.” Clint finishes for Pietro, who isn't very amused. They both sit there, in silence, and Clint decides to finally drink his coffee. It's not as warm as it was before but it's still good. For someone who refuses caffeine, Pietro does a mean drink.

“So, what now?” Clint asks, mainly because there is nothing left to talk about.

Pietro sighs, pained, and then says the only thing Clint doesn't want to hear. “Now, we talk about your experience.”

However, as much as it's all left to do, they don’t talk about anything. They stay in silence, until Pietro gets up to drink more tea and to read a book and Clint stays on the couch and watches TV. When there is nothing else more interesting to do, he goes take a shower, only to come back to see good food at the table and Pietro waiting for him there.

“I didn't know you could cook.”

“I don't. I brought this from Italy.” He then smirks. “Home-made as Ms. Bishop told me to give it to you.”

Clint smiles and sits by the table. "Awesome."

Still, he eats less than he would do on a normal day, and blames Pietro looking at him as if he was a very interesting experiment.

.

Pietro must be the most annoying roommate _ever_. Not because he is neurotic or ridiculously boring; because he stays silent most part of the time and it gets on his nerves. Sure, Clint isn't Wanda and all that but, come on, he must do something with his life that isn't reading, watching the news and speeding off somewhere to buy a few things. It doesn't come as a surprise that Pietro is giving him space. They both had traumatic events in their lives and Pietro suffered a little more than Clint because he is a mutant and kind of made things worse during the days of Decimation, but to stay completely away from the guy he was supposed to help is a little too much.

Clint lasts two days only. He then sits next to Pietro on the couch and asks: “What do you want to know about my time in Mars?”

Pietro smirk is a little too wide for Clint's tastes until he notices he fell into a trap. The son of a _witch_ was planning this the whole time they were together, apparently, because God forbid him to ask about feelings to a supposed— a supposed _something_. “Did they torture you?” He asks bluntly.

"No." Clint then pauses. "Not physically, at least. Well, not after they send the Hulk to defeat us and locked us on that tree." He then realizes Pietro has no idea what he is talking because he wasn't there. "So, there were these guys ’n this chick manipulated the Hulk and they locked me, Nat, Thor and Tony on a tree."

"Makes sense." He says and, nope, Clint's pretty sure it really doesn't, but Pietro is very good at hiding if his is lying or not. "Did they torture you psychologically?"

Clint bites the inside of his cheeks, not sure how to answer to that. Finally, he decides on the best way to explain it. "They used our pasts, our mistakes, to make us suffer." Clint doesn't want to talk about reliving his death, just like he doesn't want to talk about discovering Nat's 'dead' body before joining the Avengers, or about his feelings when Bobbi—

—No, too soon. Maybe tomorrow.

He gets up of the couch and paces around the room for a while. "They showed us a few things too. Like what ifs. Like, what if I had killed Norman Osborn and all that." _I die_ , he thinks to himself, _I die again and Norman Osborn becomes a martyr_. "They showed every possibility to all decisions we made, good or bad. It messed us pretty badly."

Pietro says nothing, only watches him, his attention completely on Clint. That's when Clint thinks of something pretty messed up: what if Pietro was there with him? Pietro is on that list of people who makes every decision a bad one. So much that he lost everything and is still not able to regain even a quarter of it. Clint can think of Pietro going insane before the other Avengers being able to rescue them. Killing himself or killing everybody until someone is brave enough to pull the trigger. It's one of the most horrifying thoughts Clint ever dared to think of and he blames, again, on Mars.

Clint then starts to laugh, making Pietro frown at him. "What is so funny?"

"Nothing." He says, and keeps laughing until he chokes, making a sound so horrible that mistakenly says Clint is ready to cry.

In response at this stupid sound, Pietro looks at him as if he is the most intriguing man on the whole universe and, yeah, that makes Clint feel good. It's a very nice look and Clint is a teenager girl with masochist tendencies, apparently. But before he can analyze himself in this role, Pietro is suddenly in front of him, trapping him against the nearest wall. He kisses him slowly, in a way that says he still is intrigued. So intrigued Clint can taste it; all the things Pietro could have said it to him being shoved into his mouth by a slipper tongue that likes to vibrate once in a while.

It's the first kiss they shared in a good while. Clint didn't notice how long it has been since he put his hands on Pietro in a sexual or sensual manner.

It's still as good as before, even if they end it too soon and don’t start it again.

.

They talk a little every day about Mars, even though Clint doesn’t exactly likes to do it. Suddenly Pietro shots him a question and Clint answers and then they are talking about his time on Mars. As expected, Pietro finds something to focus his attention on: the planet’s new environment. He asks about this new paradise and once or twice says that would be a marvelous place for mutants. Yeah, right. As if a whole species would leave their original world and go to another one without a fight and forget everything in here so they can live peacefully there. Or as if the governments of this world would let them. Sure, everybody hates mutants and would like to see them gone, even more now with so many of them _again_ , but they would never let them have a planet only to them — hell, they didn’t even let them have a _country_. Besides, it’s easier to deal with mutants than to focus their attention in other serious stuff, like poverty and the real superhero threats, like Doom.

This, however, isn’t really important.

Okay, it _is_ , but he doesn’t say those things out loud because he lives with Magneto’s first child and he isn’t crazy to give Pietro his opinions about mutants. Besides, this political stuff doesn’t cause as much impact as the fact that, when they talk about Mars’ modified environment, Clint remembers it too well. He remembers the color and the smell and the way some leaves of some trees reminded him of the Maximoff’s eye colors. He obviously doesn’t say it out loud and he remembers himself that, with so many shades of green that existed there, it wouldn’t be surprising to see one that fitted Wanda and Pietro’s green eyes. It had nothing to do with _urges_ to see Pietro again or his questions if that would actually happen, though a part of him seems to doubt him.

Days later they talk about the fight. Pietro asks him about what caught his eyes and Clint realize it was so many things he can’t even begin to describe. When he admits he didn’t help that much, Pietro laughs what is totally mean since it was difficult to do something with so many Avengers. Clint tries to defend himself and his abilities — tries to not make anyone think he shouldn’t be there just because he had no power and fought with a bow and arrow, but Pietro is awesome when he wants and says, serious: “You were there. You fought twice. You lost once, you won the other. You learned. That's what matters.”

It’s something sweet he normally only tells to his students ( _or well, to Finesse_ ) and it makes Clint smiles at him a little embarrassed. He hides the smile by drinking his beer at the same time he chokes himself with the liquid to not say he wished Pietro was there for him. Things would have ended differently with any of the Maximoffs there.

There would only be destruction, instead of peace.

.

The day after their conversation about the fight, Clint feels too restless to stay at home ( _at the apartment_ ), so he goes for a run. It takes almost an hour to notice he actually got out of the house all by himself. He is breathless and his body is sore since it has been a good while he last did this, but he still is able to find a bench to sit and laugh until his lungs pleads for air.

Pietro is the best rehab _ever_.

.

The next days are the best and the worsts of Clint's life after Mars.

The best because Clint finally goes out of the house equipped with his costume, bow and arrow and goes fight crime. He doesn’t really leave Pietro’s house because it’s a nice place to hide from the world, and that means Clint will only be called for emergencies. Sure, he spends more time on the streets than at Pietro's place but it is better this way since it’s the speedster who is ruining his good days after Mars.

He likes to argue about the mud on his boots and the sweat stains Clint leaves everywhere he sits after he comes back from patrol, as if it is his fault Pietro isn’t used to sweat. Sure, it’s great that it takes a lot for him to even get slightly breathless, but he should remember only a few people have this same power. Clint is sure that, if it were Wanda, Pietro wouldn’t open his mouth. Also, he seems to hate Clint's little adventures on the kitchen.

“I already miss when you were in shock.”

Ouch. “I wasn't in shock.” Clint replies, more offended than hurt. “I was just a little out of my game.”

Pietro snorts, clearly not convinced. "Well, you should go back to how you were. Your old self was much quieter."

Clint wants to say that the old him of two weeks ago wasn't really the person Pietro knew, but that would prove him right about the whole ‘Clint-in-shock’ thing. And he wasn't. He really wasn't. So Clint gets out of the house without saying anything else and decides to run a little more. And by a little more he actually means until he finds someone he knows.

It happens to be Iron Man.

When he spots Clint into the crowd, looking at him and waving happily, Tony lands and hugs him as best as his armor lets him, which is very comfortable, thank you very much, if compared with the first ones. "Now that's someone I haven't seen in a while."

Clint smiles. "Why? Have you been seeing the others?"

Tony shrugs. "I saw Bruce just the other day. He is working with S.H.I.E.L.D. for a better world. Or something like that. Natasha is off somewhere I really don't want to know and Steve I see almost every day." He then sighs. "He is helping Pepper babysit me. To see 'how well' I've been doing after all that stuff on Mars." And by that they both know he means they are watching him like hawks just to be sure he won’t drown himself on alcohol again.

"So I wasn't the only one." Clint says.

"Pietro, huh?” Tony asks, smirking. “That was unexpected for everyone. I heard Henry and Tigra had to call Wanda and even with her he didn’t bulge immediately." He then lifts an eyebrow in such a cynic way that makes Clint starts laughing. "I'm pretty sure you were a little disappointed to know it wasn't Wanda."

Clint wants to say he is actually glad it is Pietro to take care of him since Wanda and he are a little disconnected after the whole 'you-killed-me-and-I-had-sex-with-a-robot-with-your-face' thing but he knows Clint has to play his part. "Well, better Pietro helping me than killing me."

Tony laughs again. "I'm sure. He isn't bad — he is great when he wants to — but he is too sentimental when it comes to his sister." Tony pauses and smiles knowingly to Clint. "I'm just glad I never tried anything with her."

He can feel his cheeks warming up with embarrassment because, yes, of course Jessica and Hank wouldn’t shut up about the whole robot-Wanda. Clint shots Tony a glare that says there will be murder if he tells or insinuates to Pietro about the whole thing — probably his own, but Tony will be serious hurt if the gossip reaches Pietro’s ears. He decides to change the subject. “What are you doing here? I don't see Cap or Pepper around.”

Tony rolls his eyes, annoyed by thinking about Steve and his new best friend Pepper. “I told them I was going to try my new suit. He is more resistant and even lighter. I was making sure everything was just perfect when suddenly I saw you and— Oh, you know what? Let's go grab something to eat and then we talk.”

"Great." Clint says, smiling. "I haven't eaten anything since morning. Argued with Pietro and just left without food. Or money. Or my documents. Or anything else. You pay."

"Oh, marital fight?" Tony asks, leading the way to some nice place, ignoring the way people are smiling and taking pictures. Clint tries to forget the last time this happened. Hulk and he were _naked_.

"Shut up. I just ruined his carpet again and may or may not have destroyed his microwave."

"This is absurd. I do this every _day_."

“Yeah! And I told him I would pay him back, ‘cause I’m kind of rich now and all that, but Pietro was all ‘Why didn't they leave you on Mars’.” He throws his arms on the air for a moment, annoyed again by their last argument. He may be sleeping with Pietro occasionally and may know him since almost forever, but he doesn’t understand him most of the times. Why Wanda loves him so much with that personality is beyond him.

Tony fidgets a little on his armor, just a second longer than he should — and enough to Clint to notice he said something to unsettle the man —, but soon recovers and says, smiling mischievously: "Maybe he just needs to get laid."

Oh. “Oh.” Clint says, blinking owlish at the statement.

Doesn't that make sense?

.

Clint didn't notice how Pietro and he weren't having sex anymore until Tony commented. Sure, they kissed here and there but as days went by they simply stopped touching each other. It suddenly feels weird to think of Pietro and he interacting just as friends ( _or colleagues; yep, colleagues is accurate_ ) since they don’t have this level of confidence as he has with Nat or the other has with Henry.

So, maybe, all this tension between them aren't all about Clint being a nightmare as a roommate — though, begrudgingly, he is pretty sure a small part is about this —, but about their sexual tension that, before, was being _solved_.

It makes Clint feel like an idiot because things would have been easier these days if he had started trying to sex Pietro up.

It also makes Clint feel like a pig because he is really aroused by the idea of all that tension being solved at once. That night, to be more precise.

Jesus, that is why his relationships never seen to last.

"Hey, are you hearing me?" Tony says, waving a hand in front of his face and Clint stops thinking about having sex with Pietro. For the moment.

"What? I was thinking important stuff, man!"

Tony looks unimpressed. “Uh-huh. Stop thinking about sex with Wanda and eat your shawarma.”

Clint scowls Tony but eats anyway, asking himself why everybody thinks he goes for the female twin of the Maximoff set. Because they live to the danger, they are sitting on the of a very tall building and he stops for a moment to look down and notices that, here, anything can happen. Also, as he gives another bite at his food, he remembers the food gets cold faster. They eat in silence watching the streets, looking for trouble, but New York seems to be incredible peaceful these days. Spider-Man's new attitude must have worked to scare the villains or was it the new FF, that seemed to be crazy and more threatening to the public eye than the normal enemies ( _though Clint kind of gets that. Medusa isn’t someone many people know; Scott is clearly not okay after Cassie; She-Hulk is still great but not enough to keep everything under control; and Johnny shouldn’t choose replacements like_ ever _. Girl was famous and_ normal _, why take that away from her?_ )? It may be the fact Daredevil is back and not-crazy as some were saying or just Deadpool wrecking all the other cities of the States in the name of S.H.I.E.L.D..

Man, everything _has_ changed. Sometimes it’s difficult to notice, but these days it’s easier to enumerate what is still the same after the whole Avengers versus X-Men.

Tony finishes his food faster than Clint, probably not thinking about how everyone is different, and then he looks around, as if looking for something in the skies. Clint knows what that means — that Tony is looking to Mars — and he decides it's just not worth it to talk about it. Sometimes, he does look too to the skies, trying to see the new green planet, but his vision isn't that far and he is thankful for that.

Iron Man, however, isn’t: “Hey, do you get this feeling everything around you is just fake?” Tony asks suddenly when Clint is ready to bite the rest of his shawarma.  Clint pulls the food away from his mouth and frowns to Iron Man. “No, why?”

He bites his lips and looks around, suddenly a child who is lost but doesn't want to say it out loud — doesn't want it to be true. However, as always, Tony finds his voice. “Don't you get the impression we still are there?” He motions to the sky with his head, slightly. “And this, this life we are living now is just another possibility, like the ones Abyss showed us there?”

Clint looks at the man and then laughs, but it is the ghost of one — faint and weak. “Are you insane? Of course not!”

But now he is.


	2. Part Two

It's the first time he has nightmares.

Before, being afraid of his past and reliving all the past choices he had made, that, at the time, had only seemed to have one or two options, but, looking back, he realized just how wrong the choices he made had been, was just something he didn’t do. He can _live_ with that. He knows he isn't a good person — he tries, but the way he is, the life he lives, doesn’t let him be as good as Captain America or Spider-Man — but he knows the past can't be changed without ruining the present and, if he is here, right now, and the world isn't over, then he must have done something right.

But the _future_? The future is uncertain and dubious; everything can change at any moment and there is no power in the universe that can make it unchangeable. Every choice, every thought, every path leads to a different place in time, and it scares Clint because the perfect future is a bullseye that’s impossible for him to hit. And if he is living, right in this instant, a possibility instead of his own life then, yeah, he had the right to be totally _terrified_.

So when he goes to bed, eyes wide open and trying to notice if his surroundings are, somehow, changing, Clint falls asleep rather quickly and without really wanting to. He doesn’t know what he dreamed about ( _if he even dreams at all or if he just wakes up and the three monsters of Mars put him back in the illusion_ ), but he knows his throat is raw and he can’t breathe. The darkness isn’t comforting at all, but moments later the lights flip on and he looks up, squinting, to find Pietro standing in the doorway, frowning.

Clint sucks in a ragged breath, remembering that they hadn’t talked after he got back because of their fight. _Would it have mattered? Would it have broken the illusion if I had talked to him?_ , he asks himself, lungs burning because of the lack of oxygen. How long had he been _screaming_?

Pietro’s eyes are so green, and Clint focuses on them, trying to find a difference from before, only hours ago, he realizes numbly, but there’s nothing. The speedster just watches him back, looking him over, until he clearly loses his patience and sighs heavily. He moves slowly towards the bed, shoving his bangs out of his face as he crouches next to him and asks him what happened.

“What if—” He starts and then stops, taking a moment to breathe slowly and sit up properly on the bed. The wood is cold against his feet, but Pietro is right next to him and, illusion or not, he is comfort enough. “What if I’m still on Mars?”

Pietro’s eyebrow lifts in a way that makes Clint feel embarrassed by his own question. It’s the kind of movement that, combined with his expression, says Clint is being ridiculous and stupid. “Who told you that?” He asks and Clint huffs, rolling his eyes and feeling that he must be really crazy to think Pietro %#%#ing Maximoff could be comforting.

“Oh, %#@$ you.” He says, getting up from the bed and ignoring Pietro’s movement to get up too. No wonder Wanda went insane, Clint thinks, or that Finesse is still completely socially inept. Pietro is the worst person _ever_ with feelings.

“Clint.” Pietro calls and suddenly he’s in front of him, a hand on his chest, eyes cold and looking for answers. “Who told you that?”

“Does it matter?” He asks back, throwing his arms up in the air. “If you’re an illusion, would it matter to know who tipped you off?!”

His answer only makes Pietro smirk. “You are an absolute idiot to believe in such a stupid idea.” The hand on his chest gets stronger and Clint stumbles a little, taking a step back so he won’t fall. “I am not an illusion.”

 Yeah. As if this statement would be enough to make Clint believe he is real. “Oh, really? And how do you know?”

Pietro tilts his head to one side and scoffs lightly, rolling his eyes, and it’s enough to make Clint understand that he thinks he is an idiot for believing something so stupid. But he’s watched _The_ _Matrix_ and _Inception_ and he’s Hawkeye; he was _killed_ by Wanda, who then created a whole new _reality_ just because Pietro asked her to. He’s no stranger to being manipulated and deceived, so, yeah, what Tony said to him isn’t so easy to dismiss. Not after everything he’s seen.

Clint makes a face that, somehow, threatens Pietro. He takes the hand off his chest and give a step back, for good measure, and he doesn’t want to fight the speedster, doesn’t want to _scare_ him or make him think he’s going insane, but he doesn’t want to see Pietro melt together with his room and his apartment and Clint’s freedom just to see Abyss’ face appear suddenly. He doesn’t want to see her smile as if she now knows what makes him tick, what makes him _hurt_ , so he takes his favorite jacket that is always near him and snarls to Pietro: “What do you _know_?” before he leaves.

.

He comes back two hours later, bruised and bloody, his jacket ruined in the tentative assault turned street fight. Pietro is waiting for him on the couch in the living room, like a parent waiting for his teenage kid to come back from his first date or from the prom, reading a thick book and looking very interested in it. When Clint closes the door, Pietro pulls the book away and smirks at him.

“Had the best time being mugged or beaten to death?”

“Shut up.” He mumbles, rolling his eyes. Okay, not his best idea, but he had had to do it. Now he feels tired enough that he won’t dream as he sleeps — or at least he hopes so. In science fiction, or at least in the couple he’d read, when someone discovers that an illusion is indeed an illusion, it breaks into a million pieces and the person awakes. In dreams, when one notices it is, in fact, a dream, the person can dominate the dream until he awakes. But nothing is happening, and Clint has begun to hope that Pietro was right. Or maybe this is a different kind of illusion or dream, or something else entirely and he’ll just wake up when Abyss wants him to.

Right now, however, reality seems like the obvious answer because the bruises on his face hurt like hell and, as he wipes the blood of a cut, he turns to Pietro and asks: “Won’t you help me? I’m _hurt_.”

“Why would I help? I wasn’t the one who told you to leave the apartment after midnight and without your bow, and I also wasn’t the one who did this” and he motions the bruises with a flick of his hand “to you.”

“...You're having lots of fun with this, huh?”

Pietro tilts his head slightly to the left and smiles. “You seem surprised.”

.

After Clint tends to his own bruises and gets a full on lecture from Pietro on how he can't ruin his bathroom with his blood, Clint finds himself back in his room. It has been a long day and an even longer night, but they can't go to sleep yet. It’s one of those times where they have to sit down and talk about stuff, mostly because it seems appropriate. And the chosen one to start this conversation is obviously him since Pietro is sitting right next to him on the bed, reading his book and, sometimes, glancing at him, waiting.

Clint moves a little, trying to get comfortable, and winces when a particularly bad bruise stings. When the pain finally begins to fade, he opens his mouth. “Tony told me that.” He keeps his eyes on the floor, but he knows that Pietro is rolling his eyes again. “It wasn’t his fault, okay? I think he was musing about that for days. He just decided to share his fears with me when we met.”

“Yes, because since he can't drink, he decides to ruin people's lives.”

Clint doesn't like his tone. He never does, actually. “Like you did?” He remembers Pietro, his voice another snarl, because he doesn’t have the room to talk about Tony’s mistake. He, more than any other Avenger, did something he’ll have to live with for the rest of his life.

Pietro grinds his teeth so hard that the sound so loud that it grates against his brain, and his temples begin to ache. And, yeah, he knows that that was a low blow, because nobody ever remembers the %$@# Wanda did in front of them— except for Rogue — because they know that she is running through it inside her head over and over again already, and everyone seems to have forgiven Tony after the whole Registration Act thing, but nobody is so nice with Pietro. Probably because Pietro isn’t nice to anyone, but still. He deserved the little memo to not be a hypocrite.

“If we are going to discuss this” he says, voice low and aggressive, but more a promise than a real threat. “I am dropping you on your house and taking my sister back with me.”

“Right.” Clint says and pinches the bridge of his nose, remembering they are here to talk about his freak out, not Pietro’s faults. “I'm sorry, I just— you can’t— that’s hypocritical— Look, it wasn't Tony's fault, okay?”

“Fine.” Pietro says, not exactly convinced. Then, he stays a few moments quiet before speaking again: “You should go to sleep.”

“I thought we were going to talk. About my problem.”

“I believe you should sleep first.” Clint looks at Pietro, finally, but the man is busy staring at his bandaged chest. “You are in the worst condition to have such an important talk.” Also, he totally doesn’t want to talk to Clint anymore after the whole ‘remember how you helped Wanda to go mad and then she took the powers of almost all the mutants?’, but he doesn’t think he can sleep. And when he tells Pietro this, the man looks him in the eyes and presses him.

“You can. You just don't want to.”

“Because I'm fragile?” Clint asks, trying to be sarcastic enough to be funny, but the words come out too flat.

“Because you are _afraid_.”

Well, this much is true, at least. Clint sighs. “You told me you weren't an illusion because you know yourself enough to know something like that. But what if you are? What if you are nothing but make-believe, a fairytale of my mind?”

“If I were, you wouldn't doubt reality,” Pietro tells him as he gets up and stands in front of Clint. He is tall, taller than Wanda, at least, and it makes Clint’s neck strain as he looks into the speedster’s eyes. “If all this was a dream or an illusion you wouldn't need to stay with me. You would have just moved on with your life.”

“Okay.” Clint agrees, because that makes sense, licking his dry lips. “And what do I need to do to ‘move on’ with my life?” At this question, Pietro only tilts his head a little to one side, his pale green eyes as calm as he can manage. Then Pietro leans over and kisses Clint, softly. And _oh_ , doesn’t that make sense?

It makes so much sense. So much sense that Clint quickly grabs Pietro by the waist and pulls him as close as he can, given the weird angle they’re at. He remembers Tony’s other observation, that he just needed to get laid, and, well, it’s _Clint_ and he is kind of in a relationship with Pietro. If he was as well as he thought he was — as well as Abyss would make him be — this would have happened much quicker. Even more if they were living together like they are now. Actually, it would happen every day, all the time.

Clint bites Pietro softly on his lower lip and tugs a little, just enough to make Pietro hiss, and then they are breaking the kiss so he can laugh. Realization dawns on him so quickly and it’s such a freeing feeling that it seems to spread to Pietro, because he is smiling a little too. He falls onto the mattress, his body bouncing a little, up and down, and the speedster doesn’t even blink at this, only crawls into Clint’s lap and bends down to kiss him again.

The kiss is eager and hot, weeks of nothing between them accumulated in just one touch and Clint doesn’t know, for a moment, if it would be best to keep going or change it to something more intimate. Pietro’s fingers are gripping tight on his shoulders as he fights for the control and, if he was less himself, Clint would let him have it. But everything’s been a challenge for the both of them since the very beginning of their relationship as colleagues on the Avengers, so he decides more intimate is better, wraps his hands around Pietro’s waist, and rolls them over, pressing him against the mattress.

Clint quickly grabs Pietro by the waist and pulls him as close as he can. He remembers Tony observation, that he just needed to get laid and, well, it’s _Clint_ and he is kind of in a relationship with Pietro. If he was as well as he thought he was — as well as Abyss would make him be — this would have happened faster. Even more if they were living together like they are now. Actually, it would happen every day, all the time.

Clint bites Pietro softly on his lower lip and tugs a little, just enough to make Pietro hiss, and then they are breaking the kiss so he can laugh. Realization downs on him so quickly and it’s such a freeing feeling that seems to spread to Pietro, because he is smiling a little too. He falls on the mattress and the speedster doesn’t even blink at the sudden move, only crawls into Clint’s lap and bends down to kiss him again.

The kiss is eager and hot, weeks of nothing between them accumulated in just one touch and Clint doesn’t know, for a moment, if it would be best to keep going or change it to something more intimate. Pietro’s fingers are gripping tight on his shoulders as he fights for the control and, if he was less himself, Clint would let him have it. But everything’s a challenge for the both of them since the very beginning of their relationship as colleagues on the Avengers, so he decides more intimate is better, wraps his hands on Pietro’s waist and rolls them over, pressing him to the mattress.

Pietro obviously doesn’t make any noise, just grips his hair with both hands and arches his back so all his body is touching Clint’s. He brings their hips together, their erections grinding against each other, and it makes Pietro relax and sigh; open his legs to accommodate him better, fluttering his eyes shut. And Clint— Well, he always loses it a little when they are like this, because the man under him is made of hard lines, distrust and bad decisions, but, with him, when they are together, he melts, all the trust he has for Clint finally showing. It’s something few can say they witnessed.

He thinks about that, still mesmerized with the level of trust Pietro has for him that he almost forgets what he is doing. Pietro, of course, remembers him: he wraps his arms around Clint’s neck and brings him down for a searing kiss, one that almost makes him lose his balance and almost crash against the archer’s body. Clint breaks the kiss, laughing, and moves his lips to Pietro’s neck while his hands find the path to his pale thighs. The speedster sighs again, his fingers treading through Clint’s short hair and pulling it just enough to make him shiver with pleasure.

“Lube.” Clint gasps, suddenly, and kisses Pietro again, hard and needy, his hands spreading the man’s long legs open. “Lube. Tell me you have lube, please, _tell me_.”

The despair, the arousal thick on his voice makes Pietro smirk and pull away a little. He stays on that position for a moment, watching Clint, before moving to get the bottle of lube he has on his nightstand. It makes Clint wonder how long it is there and if Pietro was thinking this would happen sooner or later. Maybe it’s there for other reasons — bad reasons, regarding white-haired aliens —, but before he can actually take a moment to think about that, Pietro is back, mouth on his mouth, teeth on his lips, biting, pulling; the lube is shoved on his hands and Clint just wraps his fingers around the bottle and _doesn’t_ _care_.

He pulls Pietro down, change their position and covers his body with his own; one of his hands opens the lube and spills it on some of his fingers. His clean hand — always the clean one, because Pietro is the type of person who would argue about the ‘mess he is making’ — brings one of Pietro’s thigh up and wraps it around his waist.

They kiss again, sloppily, hungrily. Their shallow breathes mingle as Clint presses one finger inside Pietro without warming up the liquid, making him hiss and pant, eyes burning with passion and defiance. Clint grins, because that’s how they roll.

Soon he adds another finger and then another, moaning in anticipation. Pietro seems to have the same feeling, because he soon searches blindly for the lube and drops the liquid in one of his hands. He soon wraps his hand around Clint’s member, making him by the coldness of the liquid. He thrusts against Pietro’s hand almost immediately, trying to keep the same pace he is using to spread the speedster open, and only stops moving when Pietro’s breath stutters and opens his eyes as if in surprising, coming hard and for the first time that night.

“You make me feel so confident over my abilities.” Clint jokes, smiling smugly. He bends to kiss Pietro before he protests and slides his fingers out. The man won’t shut up without a fight, of course he won’t, and soon the kiss becomes more aggressive, more teeth than tongue while Clint enters him slowly. Pietro soon wraps his other leg around his waist and presses until there is no space between them. “Can I?” He asks and kisses Pietro’s neck sweetly before adding: “Move, I mean.”

 “You _may_.” He answers and then smirks as Clint rolls his eyes at the correct grammar. As he thrusts, Clint feeds himself on Pietro’s small noises, trying his best to find the best angle that will take them both apart.

For a pair that seems to agree in disagree most of the times and are both known to be hotheads, they take their time when they are like this. Gasps and moans of one complete the noises of the other; teasing and small talk earn smiles and sweet kisses from Pietro and laughter and bites from Clint. There is time, trust and playfulness that don’t fit anywhere but the bedroom. Yet.

_Yet,_ Clint thinks as his movements become more erratic, his orgasm building on. Pietro clenches around him on purpose and his legs bring him closer, deeper. He bites his own lips to not say something sappy, like how he wants this more often — maybe with dates and something that sounds awfully like commitment.

Pietro, thank God, seems to always know when to shut Clint up for good, because soon he forgets everything as the man brings their faces together, licks Clint’s lips slowly before moving his mouth to the shell of his ear, biting hard. His hands roam Clint’s body slowly — one scratching his back, the other finding the time to pinch at one of his nipples — and when he finds his own erect member, leaking and pulsing, Pietro wraps his fingers around the shaft, making a noise that makes Clint thrust as hard as he can inside him. His other hand, however, keeps traveling down until Clint understands where Pietro is aiming. He %$##ing _keens_ in expectation, but the other man shushes him, lips pressing open mouthed kisses on his jaw. His fingers find his ass and soon they slip through the crack before finally, _finally_ , pressing on his—

—the angle is all wrong, but Clint makes a choked sound and comes, thrusting as hard as he can inside Pietro, who opens his mouth in delight, enough so Clint is able to swipe his tongue inside. He keeps stroking himself until he reaches his second orgasm.

They are a mess of come, sweat and limbs, and it’s such a satisfying notion Clint takes his time to move away from Pietro. When he does, he moves just enough to not crush the other completely. Pietro hums in thanks and moves his body so he can kiss Clint properly, the wet noises filling the room in a way that makes him feel extremely content with life itself, even though, normally, it’s a very $#@%#@ life. Sleep comes faster than he expected — fast enough he doesn’t try to stay awake to see that Pietro is, too, closing his eyes and allowing himself to dream.

.

When he wakes up the sun has already risen and Pietro is sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling pants — that Clint knows well — on. When he gets up and zips his fly, not caring for underwear, the jeans hang pleasantly low on his hips. It makes Clint bite his lips because it looks great; Pietro should wear them all the time.

"You’re awake." Pietro remarks coolly, not explaining why he is wearing Clint’s pants and that’s enough of a clue for him to not say anything either.

“Uh, yeah, just woke up.”

"Good. I have been thinking about better arguments to convince you this isn't another illusion from your enemies."

It's great news and Clint is actually pretty interested, but he ends up whining like a little kid anyway just to see what Pietro’s reaction will be. “Why? I _like_ the arguments you used with me a few hours ago. They were _very_ convincing. I think you should use it all the time." Blush rises from Pietro’s neck, a rare, adorable thing and—

—Scratch the adorable, Clint did not think that.

"As I was saying." Pietro says, giving Clint the perfect opportunity to run away from what he just thought. "I do not believe you are locked in an illusion. From what you told me and from what I have read on the reports, those aliens thought themselves _gods_. Therefore they would only believe in two futures: one where we perished and one where we evolved. A future where they would be defeated or where Captain Universe would appear to them and stop what they were doing would never be their option."

There is silence then and Clint actually looks at Pietro. The man is sitting again on the bed, looking at him, waiting for an answer. It must be the smartest thing someone actually told him about this matter and Tony is wrong and—

"I want to $%#% you again." He mutters, not controlling his mouth, though it isn’t a surprise.

Pietro only smirks coyly. "Don't you always?"

.

Days pass and, hey, he actually gets some sleep after talking a bit more with Pietro and doing _other things_ with him, so he feels better and better as the days pass. For some reason they finally reached the whole ‘honeymoon phase’ of their relationship and it basically consisted of them fighting crime after midnight and wearing each other’s clothes sometimes, though it was more Pietro stealing his jeans than anything else, because the man’s clothes were too preppy and too small for Clint.

Clint would like to say that, after having lots of sex and sleeping better, he lived happily ever after, but it's his life so things aren't like that for him. After a night where they stopped three synchronized bank robberies where Pietro went directly to the shower and told him that, no, he wasn’t going with him, someone knocked at the door.

It's Tony, of course. Who else would it be?

"Hey, champ." He says, looking much better than he had the other day. Not better than Clint, but that’s difficult these days — except for the part where a robber actually punched Clint on the nose and, though it didn’t break, it swelled a little around the eyes. It didn’t stop him from being awesome and hitting bullseyes every time. "Looking good, huh?"

"Only physically injured." Clint tells him and lets Tony in even if it's not his house. "What are you doing here?"

"Mission." Tony answers, looking at the house, noticing every little detail as if hungry with the idea of being in _Pietro Maximoff’s_ house. "For you, Hawkeye."

"Why am I not surprised?" He remarks but is already heading to his room to pack, cursing his life because, after this, he is probably going directly back to his house, so, yeah, honeymoon phase is _over_. Tony follows him to his room to sneak around and soon notices the messy bedroom, and that makes him smirk. Before he can comment on it, Clint decides to play dirty. "So, how's the head? Still thinking on that?"

"What? Oh. That. Yep. Every day, I think I will wake up on Mars."

"Well, wouldn't that be a _dream_?" Pietro butts into the conversation, appearing suddenly at the doorway and leaning on the doorframe. Tony pretends he didn't jump, but Pietro's smirk is a little difficult to miss.

"Pietro. Looking good." He says and Clint agrees; Pietro is wearing one of his shirts that are big enough to hide the fact he is way too small and lithe for the jeans he stole from Clint. The pants are some he is pretty sure Tony never saw on him, so he thinks they’re safe, if they play it right.

"Stark. Can't say the same about you." And _of course_ Pietro is mad at Tony; _of course_ he blames the guy for telling Clint they could be still locked in an illusion. Tony frowns at Pietro, obviously having no idea why Pietro is so mad at him, but Clint's sound of distress is enough to break their awkward staring conversation. $%#$, Clint totally forgot about his jacket. "Oh man." He says. "That's my favorite."

"That _was_." Tony and Pietro correct him and they smirk at the same time at Clint's dirty look. How they don’t get along is beyond everybody.

"What the hell am I going to use now?" Sure, he has some other jackets but Clint actually liked this one and the others are at his apartment. "I'll buy you another one" Tony says, at the same time Pietro suggests: "I'll lend you one of mine."

Tony's head shoots immediately to Pietro, but the speedster isn't looking at Iron Man right now.

.

Pietro's jacket is actually pretty nice. Bigger than him, enough to fit Clint's built body and not restrain his movements. It's an ugly shade of grey and it's too worn out but he'll take it. Pietro only watches him as he tries it and moves his arms from where he is sitting on the bed. "I never thought you would have a _normal_ jacket." Clint comments.

"I don't usually need one." He says and stops for a moment, hesitating because of _something_ , his eyes darting to the window. "I only found myself in need when I lost my powers."

"Oh." Clint says smartly and falls silently for a moment. When Pietro doesn't change the subject, only keeps watching whatever exists outside his window, Clint confesses: "Well, this is awkward."

After a few more seconds where no one says anything — because, _what the hell_ will they talk after that? —, Pietro finally changes the subject. "When Stark asks why I lent you my jacket, you say that I was dying to see you gone."

"Okay." Clint says but Pietro isn't there anymore.

.

"He told me it was because he was dying to see me gone." Clint answers Tony right after they leave the building. The mission will only happen in two hours but there is this deal with Pietro that is quite simple: he would give them his address if they _never_ went there with a quinjet or in full-body armor/costume. At the time he bought the place he had Crystal and Luna to think about, now he has Wanda.

"He is a complicated guy" Tony says after finishing telling Clint about the deal, sounding like a justification for Pietro's behavior, but he understands it. It sucks to be pulled out of a barbecue to fight for S.H.I.E.L.D. and all that.

"Why am I not surprised?" Tony asks cynically and Clint laughs at that. Yes, nobody would be surprised by Pietro's actions when he is a little $@#$. The big surprise is that he actually _cares_ for everyone he knows — even more now after he got his powers back and his students are missing.

Tony's limo is getting closer and closer and Clint inhales deeply, feeling _in place_ with his gears in one hand and his bag of clothes in the other. However, when his lungs fill with air, they also fill with Pietro's smell, present all over the jacket. Not Pietro's cologne; his _natural_ smell. He isn't able to know all the elements present in a fragrance like Logan, but he knows the other man pretty well, like he knows Bobbi and Natasha.

It makes him stop and turn back running, screaming to Tony he just remembered something.

There is a foot mark on his ribs that makes it hard to breath, but Clint climbs up the stairs as fast as he can. He opens the door, letting it bang against the wall just to get Pietro’s attention and it works; in less than a second, Pietro is already in the living room. "What _happened_?" He asks suddenly, close to Clint. "Is something wrong? Is it Luna? Is it Lorna? Vision? My _father_? Is it _Wanda_?"

_It's you, you idiot_ , Clint wants to say, however it's a way too intimate phrase and he is kind of out of air, so he decides to just grab Pietro's face and smash their lips together. It doesn't take long for Pietro to reciprocate the kiss, but he kind of ruins it when he touches a sore spot at Clint's waist.

" _Ow_! Don't touch me there!" Clint says before Pietro starts kissing him again. Learning his lesson, the speedster does not touch that particular bruise of Clint again but finds another at his arm. The archer soon breaks the kiss and pulls Pietro away a little. "Okay, _bad_ idea. How did we manage to have sex after we got back without you touching all my bruises?"

Pietro ignores his complaints, as always, mostly because he has complaints of his own and, boy, is he outraged: "What part of you isn't hurt?!"

Clint only smiles and arches an eyebrow suggestively. The other man looks surprised when he finally understands, but soon he is back to his old scolding expression and grabs the nearest bruise on Clint's sides. Hard.

"Ow, _ow_!"

**01/18/2013 — 01/31/2013**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so so so so so so sorry about the late. My semester at college was at an end; I had to finish papers and essays everywhere; revise things to my sister and mom; and my mom had a heart-attack and I had to spend time with her at the hospital and take care of the house and my pets. Things are better now. Well, kind of.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry about the late and I hope you guys enjoy. Next chapter will come faster, or so I hope, and there will be porn! YAAAAY!
> 
> Also, even if I don't post part 2 fast, I will keep posting the others fanfictions because they are way smaller and I am writing day 15 already. So no worries!
> 
> Really hope you guys enjoy :D


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